If your child is struggling with big feelings, tricky behavior, or constant power battles, you’re not alone. Many parents feel frustrated and confused when traditional therapy or behavior plans don’t seem to work. It’s easy to assume the solution is to “fix” what’s going on inside the child. But decades of research tell us something different: the most powerful change often happens when parents get support, not just children.

The Real Shift Happens With You

Parent coaching is built on a simple but transformative idea, children grow and change most when the adults around them do. As Dr. Becky Kennedy, clinical psychologist and author of Good Inside, explains:

“Research has established that, oftentimes, when kids are struggling, it is not therapy for the child himself but coaching or therapy for the parent that leads to the most significant changes in the child.” (Good Inside, p. 37)

This idea isn’t just theory. It’s backed by decades of research in developmental psychology, attachment science, and family systems therapy. Studies show that when parents learn new tools, regulate their own emotions, and respond differently, children’s behavior often improves. This is true even if the child never sees a therapist.

We LOVE Dr. Becky and if you haven't read her book Good Inside we highly recommend it, it is a fan favourite at 15 Summers! You can also find her free content online.

Why Parent Coaching Works

Parent coaching focuses on building skills that change the emotional “climate” at home. Here’s why that matters:

• Children learn regulation from you. They develop emotional skills by watching how you handle stress, frustration, and conflict. (Gottman et al., 1997)
• Your relationship shapes their behavior. A secure, responsive relationship is one of the strongest predictors of emotional health. (Bowlby, 1982)
• Family systems change as a whole. Shifting one part of the system — often the parent — can lead to ripple effects across the family. (Minuchin, 1974)

In one large review of parent coaching programs, researchers found that parent training led to more consistent, long-term improvements in children’s behavior than child-focused therapy alone. (Lundahl et al., 2006, Clinical Psychology Review).

It's Not About Blame. It's About Empowerment.

Hearing that your growth matters more than your child’s therapy might feel heavy at first. It’s natural to wonder if you’ve been doing something wrong. But this isn’t about blame. In fact, it’s deeply hopeful.

It means that the power to support your child is already in your hands. By learning how to regulate your own emotions, set boundaries with confidence, and respond with empathy, you create the conditions for your child’s brain to develop new patterns too.

Also, no matter how old you or your child is, it is not too late!

What Parent Coaching Looks Like

Parent coaching is not about lectures or perfect parenting. It’s a collaborative process where you learn and practice new strategies tailored to your child’s needs and your family dynamic.

A parent coach can help you:

• Understand the root causes behind your child’s behavior
• Respond to meltdowns or defiance with calm confidence
• Build stronger connections without losing boundaries
• Shift family patterns that keep you stuck

Over time, those small changes add up. As parents feel more capable and supported, children start to feel safer and more regulated, and behavior begins to change naturally.

You’re Not Alone

If you’ve been trying to help your child and nothing seems to work, it’s not because you’re failing. It’s because you were never meant to do this alone. With the right parenting support, change is absolutely possible, it often starts with the smallest shifts in how you show up.

Change starts with you, and that’s good news. Explore how working with a parent coach through 15 Summers can unlock growth for your whole family.

Like this content? Sign up for more articles with tips and tricks strait to your inbox.